We're like a lot better than the average bears
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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