at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
