Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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