he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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