I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
