Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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