My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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