why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize