I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
