What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
