No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize