I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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