the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
