Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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