So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
