u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
