he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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