my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My bed smells like the plague
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
