I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
