she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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