FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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