does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
