Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
