So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
