How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
