I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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