I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
