just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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