It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
