I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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