Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
