apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
