Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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