Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
