Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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