How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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