how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
