yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
