wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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