we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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