Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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