She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
