So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
