Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
