Umm I'm too high to move.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
