All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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