The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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