Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
