Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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