Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
