Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
