Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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