Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
