Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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