even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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