...so i touched it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
