she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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