watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
