I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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