and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Every concussion has its silver lining
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
