No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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