the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize