Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
