Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
